This is only a test...

No, hell hasn't frozen over (that I know about). I am actually, for the first time in over two years (!) posting on my blog. Go figure. I would have thought that Blogger would have given me up for dead, but, I guess, there wasn't anyone else wanting to name their blog "Like Maria but with an 'F'." I'm already feeling guilty for maybe not keeping up with this. But I'm going to try. Seems like I've been busy with a lot of nothing. I've been distracted with things like Facebook and Pinterest which seem easier. Even then I find that I don't have a lot to say on Facebook, which is the beauty of a blog. I can ramble a little on a topic. Are you ready to catch up? Let's do this thing.

Steve actually has a job in Denver.He has lived at home since August for the first time in 5 years. It's nice to feel married again. The new job, designing retro fits for medevac helicopters, isn't so far away but it's across downtown and the tech center (thick traffic!!) from home. Our mantra after experiencing particularly trying commutes? "I'm/you're not in Ogden."

Michael and Sarah:  He's finished with the army and she has been a social worker for the State of Texas. But Sarah has been on maternity leave. That's right, I'm a Grandma, but not for the first time! (see paragraph below). Nathan was born on March 25th this year. He's adorable (see picture on right). For such a young baby he has tons of personality and huge dimples! They are very shortly to return to Utah and he will finish college.

Christopher and Christina:  After graduating together from BYU they moved to Maryland where Chris is pretty much half way finished with his Master's Degree in Psychology from Loyola. And they made me a Grandma for the first time!! The have a beautiful baby girl, Emma (picture on right). She was born November 20, 2013 and is a pistol. I love watching her on Skype. Christina has a blog where I can see Emma's progress every week. She is so freaking cute!!

Allison:  She's been working as a stylist and is in demand at her salon and is developing a reputation as an outstanding stylist for weddings. She's my great shopping buddy!! We don't get into too much trouble, I promise. In March her long term boyfriend, Christian DeShazer (aka "the boy") returned from his mission in Guatemala. A dress has been purchased, and shoes and jewelry and.... No date yet, but we think the end of July. So, in case this hasn't occurred to anyone reading this let me point out to you I will have a Christopher, Christina and Christian. I don't think I stand a chance if Helen is already screwing it up.

Emily: A junior at BYU, she's been working her butt off getting awesome grades. Emily was just accepted to the BYU Accounting program, which is a top 5 program in the nation. She is over the moon about this, as she should be. I'm SO proud of her determination and hard, hard work. Her picture in the sidebar is from a hiking/swimming trip last summer and I'm going to MAKE her take a new picture of herself by showing this one!

Helen:  Doing awesome! She is determined to get a quilt finished for each of her grandchildren before she dies. She's just finishing Emily's quilt top and has only my nephew, Richard's, to make after this. But it will have to wait a little bit. We need to get Alli's quilted before her almost planned wedding.

Me?  I'm still substitute teaching (I won't make you yawn over the myriad of issues that have kept me from getting a full time position). I've had two long term assignments this year; four months in HomeEc and one month in Strategic Reading/literacy. I'm tired! But I've been crocheting a lot, sewing a lot and doing small "make me feel good" projects. Maybe I'll have to share in another post. See? I already have a goal!

The Good, The Bad and The Quirky

Salutations! It's a weird and busy time in our home since I last posted so here are the highlights:

Steve got a job! He's contracting again and it may be for as little as 3 months but it's a job. He's in Ogden working for a solar power company. We have hope because this company has a contract with the Tooele Army Depot to install some of their product. It could lead to something permanent for him. That means a move? We'll cross that bridge later. 

Emily is installed at BYU and is adjusting pretty well. She's always been such a homesick little dear (sorry Em, you know it's so true) but big brother and sister Christopher and Christina are only 3 blocks away. They have Sunday dinner together every week. And then her Aunt Marianne and Uncle Dee are only 25 minutes away. She's not alone! And now that Steve is less than 2 hours away, she's a happy camper, uh, college student. Emily has 2 roommates that are quieter than she is (what? strange but true!) but they're nice girls. She has been called to be on the music committee in her ward and will be leading music this week. And trust my funny girl to find the Juggling Club on campus. She is enjoying that one and amazing folks that she can pick up new skills so quickly! And, bonus! She may actually get to learn to ride a unicycle!

I've been teaching a lot and it's nice to be busy. While tiring there are little rewards. For example, I was in a 7th grade L.Arts class this week and was explaining their work when I heard a "click." I looked down and a boy in the front row had taken my picture.

     Mrs. Faria:  "Why do you have a camera in class?"

     7th grader (reassuringly): "It's okay I'm on the yearbook committee."

     Mrs. Faria: "And...?"

     7th grader: "Well, I figure since you're every ones favorite sub I'd try to get you in the yearbook."

Awww, shucks. A few other very trying groups this week had me really praying for a snow day today. All the little heathens I was teaching prayed to. It worked! Blizzard baby! Alli and I both had school snow days! Downside? No honey of a hubby here to shovel snow :(  Upside? Alli and I had finished half and were really beginning to slow down when my Home Teacher and his son showed up and we finished quickly! Downside? It's still snowing like crazy so while we got rid of the foot of snow that was there this morning there will probably be another foot by tomorrow morning. Upside? Moisture!

Now I bet you've been wondering what that picture is. Sigh, funny story, that...  Mom was making herself lunch last Saturday and chose a Hot Pocket. In the sun room, working at my desk I notice waves of smoke billowing through the doorway. I'm yelling "Mom! What are you cooking!?" Rushing in the kitchen she started exclaiming things like "OH!" and "What happened?" I was right behind her and ran into a wall of smoke. It was filling the kitchen dining area and had filled the large living room with the vaulted ceilings. It was bad. I was choking and throwing open doors and windows. Above you can see what was left of her lunch. She had misread the instructions (the print IS very small) and had mistaken the "&" in the middle of "1 & 1/2 minutes" for an 8. So now we know what a ham and cheese Hot Pocket looks like after it's cooked for 8 minutes in a 1000 watt microwave. Lots of scrubbing and cleaning later I still couldn't get rid of the smell and it had morphed from burnt toast to charcoal to chain smoker. The microwave? It was a goner. While I was at Home Depot buying paint for ceilings (Yes! I have them all done! Fun day off) the appliance folks showed me a lovely special order microwave that had been ordered incorrectly so I got a nice, custom Maytag with stainless steel interior for the cost of a nice base model in the store!  The Elders in our ward had asked if they could help me with anything since Steve had left and I grabbed them to help me remove the offensive smelling microwave. I thought they'd just help me lift it out and hook the new one back in. Didn't work out that way. I got to sit and watch them, and fetch tools and be in charge of the circuit breaker, while they did everything! And as you all know there is always more to a home improvement project than meets the eye. They were awesome! I took pictures of them with my phone and texted their Mothers, telling them they had raised lovely men.

That's all. Gotta go finish cooking the chili and make cornbread!

The Queen's Resolutions

1.  To not be so hard on herself.
2.  To remember to call the Princes and Princesses and not worry about whether it will be a bother to them or not
3.  To read the Sunday School lesson ahead of time so she knows what's going on around her in class.
4.  To hook up the webcam and mic Prince Christopher and Princess Christina gifted her to Skype with the kingdom.
5.  Learn to use the awesome new gadgets on her new iPod touch Prince Michael and Princess Sarah, Princess Allison and Princess Emily gifted her.
6.  To use her blog.

Doable resolutions all, she thinks...

It's the Queen's Birthday!!

SUCCESS!! I know my mother too well! I hacked into her blog! (This is Emily, by the way)

Mom doesn't know I'm doing this. She's still in bed waiting for dad to bring her her belgian waffles. In fact she doesn't even know that I'm awake right now.

In case you couldn't tell by the title it is Gena's birthday! She's the queen of the house today! Sadly I wasn't able to get today off of work like Alli did so they'll just have to party without me but we'll be opening presents later tonight.

My mom is the kindest, most thoughtful, random, funny, annoying, beautiful, smartest person I know. I hate watching Jeopardy with her because she'll always be able to answer before me! She is a patient mother of two boys and twin girls and now the mother-in-law of two awesome women! She's always the instigator of mischief (for example: putting glow sticks in the outhouse at girl's camp). I won't tell you how old she is today, you'll have to ask her yourself! But if you know how old Helen is, mom is just exactly 40 years younger! She has always been there for me and I'm so grateful for all the support that I've recieved from her this last year and a half that I haven't been able to go to school. I'd just like to say Happy Birthday mom! I love you!!

Marianne's Surgery

Marianne threatened me, or at least gave me baleful looks, so I didn't take any pictures of her ordeal with carpal tunnel surgery. Okay, I took a few photos and sent them to Dee but I was sworn to NEVER show them to others (got that, Britt?). Let's just say she looked adorable in her disposable Spongebob Squarepants-ish bloomer shorts and inflatable hospital gown (I got her to flash Dee some leg!).

What was really fun was when she became medicated. You know, that initial injection to relax before you are put under? Within 20 seconds she sadly looked over at me and said, "I'm so sorry I kicked you when I was twelve." Good to know. Then, as she was wheeled out of the room, she called out, "I love all of you sooo much!" In retrospect I'm glad I didn't take that as an omen. Creepy.

Her surgery only lasted 30 minutes but I was a little concerned when she didn't come out of recovery as expected. I was reassured by the staff that she would be with me momentarily.  When they finally brought her to me she was very sleepy and the nurse intoned several times, "Deep breaths, Marianne!" I was told to converse with her to help her wake up. Our conversation went something like this:

Me: Marianne, I've texted with Dee and everyone. They're all happy you're okay.
Marianne: ... humph...
Me:  You look pretty good. Do you want some Burt's Bees on your chapped lips.
Marianne: ... yesh...

  lip balm is applied gently with finger
 
Marianne:... you are sho good to me...
Monitor: BEEP, BEEP, BEEP...
Me(readjusting pulse ox clip): Marianne! Remember to take deep breaths!

  nurse comes in

Nurse: Marianne! Are you taking deep breaths?
Marianne: (deep sigh, softly) Yes
Me: I have my iPod, do you want me to play some music to help you wake up? I have lots of choices.
Marianne: Uh-huh, what?
Me: Music. Hmm, you like Barry Manilow. Do you want that?
Marianne: (mournfully) Dee doesn't like Barry*
  *editor's note: totally false statement
 Me: Okay.

  volume adjusted strains of "Mandy" drift across the room

Monitor: BEEP, BEEP, BEEP
Me: Marianne, take a deep breath!

   She looks at me quizzically and I demonstrate for her.

Marianne(breathing deeply): All right...Nurse(poking head through curtain): Is she taking deep breaths?

  Marianne takes a few exaggerated breaths.

Nurse: Okay, just keep it up. Do you want some juice?
Marianne: Um-hm.
Nurse: There's some apple here.
Marianne:... grape...
Nurse: I have some. Would you rather have grape.
Marianne: Yes (nurse leaves).
Marianne: F-AH-CK-T!*
  *editor's note: to understand random, extremely distinct vocalization of the word "fact" you must view 'Kid History episode 4 on YouTube (endorsed, very funny)
Me: I think Barry is too mellow, how about some Aerosmith?
Marianne: They're fun.* How about the Beatles?
  *editor's note: does she really think so?

I realized the music was doing the trick when after "Ticket to Ride" her toes began to tap to "Love Me Do."

She really began to wake up gracefully, even managing to eat her pudding without making too much of a mess. I knew she loved me when she let me wipe her hands and face. She must know I love her because I didn't allow her to go home with pudding on her bandaged hand and face.

Post surgery patient is doing extremely well!

ps. Patient shared with me that in recovery when doctors and nurses were trying to wake her up she purposely held her breathe in an act of rebellion towards those people who were not letting her sleep. Bravo!

NOTICE...

Including this post there are seven (SEVEN) new posts. Imagine, me waiting so long to post that I had to have seven entries! I've spent a LONG afternoon with photos and collages and trying to sound coherent (and I would be embarrassed to tell you how many times I've gone over the posts to edit!).

FYI, you can double click on the collages and they will enlarge (not to be patronizing; this is for those among us with not in the know).

Springtime in Colorado...

 

Michael (handsome in his uniform) and his lovely wife Sarah were finally able to live together! Thank you U.S. Army for letting this happen after only 7 months of marriage (snarkily said). Steve was coming home for the weekend,Dean and Renda, brother and sister extraordinaire, brought Helen back to CO from her visit in AZ. It was conference weekend and was so much fun! The intersection of family merited a visit to one of our favorite places, Jack and Grill. Too much good food and not enough good company. Footnote, a week or two later I noticed a bad smell in the car. It was Michael's "doggie bag." Oh, how I missed him at that moment, not!

 

We are enjoying Allison's expanding skill set. Her school had a Mother's Day later in May and she gave Mom and I pedicures. Emily hung out with us until she had to go to work but we couldn't talk her into getting one (still don't know why, it's relaxing and fun...) You can see her lovely face as I captured her getting her highlights, so happy was she that she forgot to smile. I had to take a picture of her waxing Emily's legs. Yes, Emily wanted it! Alli waxed and pulled, Emily grimaced and bit pillows. Allison even had tweezers to try to get the strays that didn't come out. When all was finished we determined we're going to invest in a wax pot so the wax will be thicker and the tweezers won't be necessary. Emily is so thrilled.

 

Okay, the girl's 19th Birthday was pretty laid back. You can tell by Allison hiding behind her hair since she had no make-up on, gasp! Alli's gifts? A triple process hair color and a gift certificate to Sally Beauty Supply (the latter a little selfish on my part since it was to go towards purchasing acrylic nail supplies!). Emily's gifts? A Sony PSP handheld game system and two games, the Kingdom Hearts game being one she had been dying to play. So excited was she her Chinese food dinner flew out of her hands and onto my carpet. Sweetly she cleaned it up immediately and, sweetly, her sister jumped in and helped her. And the last picture? Allison is eating cake out of a grocery bag we had put in the garbage (hey, it was a new bag and the cake was inside, okay?). We ended up with four, FOUR, cakes in our house that weekend (long story) but the one she's noshing on was one her boyfriend made for her (Helen and I found it to be dried out and a little sticky but she wanted just a little bit more).

A Relaxing Lunch

 

This post is out of order but I don't know how to change that! After the newlyweds left Denver for Provo Steve's parents, Tony and Bette, took us all out to dinner at Red Robin. It was SO nice not to cook! We had a terrific time except for the moment Helen found out that her Burnin' Love hamburger had jalapenos on it ;)