Killing Time in Maine

I received a fun letter from Christopher, uh, Elder Faria, this week. As I read it Mom claimed, "He sounds just like you." Maybe that's why I thought it was so clever? Chris was killing time waiting for his companion to finish with his e-mail. The silliness was the result of viewing the screen saver at the library, repeatedly.

"I'm sitting in the UMF (University of Maine Farmington)library in front of a computer screen whose screen saver is a slide show featuring a stuffed beaver (UMF mascot I assume) in humorous poses throughout the library (i.e. checking e-mail, reading a book about trees, surrounded by a pile of tree books, looking down a "forestry" section aisle, etc.). Can't say I'm too impressed. Cosmo the Cougar probably eats rodents like this for breakfast. On a diet that is (it's too cute, almost cuddly)...

"The sad thing about this slide show is that there are only five pictures. I want to spike the mangy critter like a football in the end zone then proceed to execute an over-the-top victory dance and squish out its fluffy innards...

"Now I'm thinking about plucking out it's beady, plastic eyes, ripping out its felt buck teeth, sewing its tail to the back of its head and shooting hoops with it. (O.K., no more violence. Fake or not, this beaver deserves respect)...

"Why did UMF pick a beaver anyway? There aren't even that many beavers here. There's not many moose either, but that would be so much cooler. And more intimidating. A moose could put up a decent fight with a Cougar or a Mustang (his high school mascot), but what could a beaver do? Nibble at the ankles? Slap it with its tail? Chew a wooden spear and nibble the end for sharpness? That last idea might be crazy enough to work...

"P.S. Elder Gonzalez just finished! No more having to amuse myself by poking fun at a rodent-like inanimate object!"

I miss my baby boy!